Big thoughts and small talk

I like to write and am very happy speaking from the front, but take me to a party and I’m rubbish at small talk.  I am comfortable with asking people deep and meaningful questions but out of my depth with light and entertaining conversation.  Sit me next to a stranger on a plane and I will bury my head in a book and put earplugs in to avoid having to make conversation.

For an introvert-as I am, this is quite normal; though not always helpful. Hiding is not always an option.  Nor is it particularly good mannered.  Evidence points to the fact that not everyone welcomes deep conversations. So small talk is necessary I am lead to believe. 

Weather gets a bit ho-hum.  Surely there are other people like me that have zero interest in sports.  There is only so much we can tell people about others or our family without breaching their privacy or being a gossip. Too many holiday dialogues sound like a bragging festival or a travel documentary. Does that only leave cute kitten and puppy stories?

Good small talk does not have to be shallow. Our social media habits have done little to enhance good conversation with their practice of superficial and brief messages.   Perhaps it is time to rediscover the old art of a good conversation. 

One aspect of making good small talk is preparing and telling a short personal story.  Much the same as preparing and practicing one’s elevator pitch.   Where an elevator pitch might be 30 seconds long, a small talk story can be a minute long.

Small talk, I have deduced is harder than my big thoughts.  If I opened my mouth and let my thoughts tumble out I reckon I have zero chance of engaging someone in conversation or of being considered interesting. The quality of a good story is as much dependent on the words left in as the words left out. 

Telling a good story and engaging another person in a light and entertaining conversation is an art.   It takes skill and it takes practice.  How many people do you know that do this well? Possibly very few if you count them when sober. Perhaps that’s why so many people hunch over their phones to tweet or post selfies whilst at a party.

No matter how ordinary or routine our lives are, no one else has the same story or stories to tell.  Ordinary stories can be interesting if told well.  It is time to harness those big thoughts and create an interesting short story for making superb small talk.  Join me at the next party and let us practice the art of a good conversation together.