Those silent unspeakable memories

George Eliot wrote “What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined-to strengthen each other-to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.”

Yesterday was a memory making day. Our son joined his girlfriend and partner in marriage before a small number of family and friends. We celebrated together in a significant and stunning location. 

I officially became a mother-in-law. Grieving a little for the loss of my son, I also had the pleasure of celebrating a lot; and gaining another daughter.  I do not want to become one of ‘those’ mother-in-law’s whose daughter-in-law is never enough for her beloved son.  I expect that journey though is a forever one, bound together in mutual love for the same man.   

I knew him as a quiet boy; one who loved lizards and birds and playing games on his Nintendo.  In his teens, this mother would wrestle to let him go into manhood and activities such as spearfishing and football.  He entered this space accompanied by his father and other male role models.  I learnt to appreciate that this was a necessary rite of passage. 

I would learn how to relate to my son as a man and would change mental gears and put a brake on the mothering fuss. During this season, I would continue to share in his dreams and progress and at times provide support.  This now has changed.  He has another woman who will be his mate and champion his dreams and growth.  Together they will strengthen each other.  Yesterday’s celebration was another passage of ritual.  Symbolic of the love they share, my son and his now forever wife swapped rings and promised themselves to one another in front of witnesses. 

The Bible says a man will leave his parents and will be joined to his wife, as one flesh. Genesis 2:24. This is a profound merging of two people; separate yet joined.  Yesterday, my son became one with his wife in one of those silent unspeakable memories.