Perfection kills bravery

Rashma Saujani, the founder of “Girls who Code” says-and I agree, “we must teach our girls bravery not perfection.”  In her address to Harvard’s School of Graduate Education in 2017, she said “we train girls to be perfect—to please and play it safe, to follow the rules, and to always get straight A’s. The result? Girls are kicking you-know-what in the classroom, but falling behind in the real world. Because in the real world, success is a product of bravery, not perfection.” 

Bravery is synonymous with courage, audaciousness, boldness and fearlessness.  The problem with perfection is it is often motivated by fear of failure and anxiety; the very things that kill bravery.  When did we forget that perfection is an illusion; a myth? 

This does not mean that we do not pursue excellence.  It does mean that we acknowledge that there is a point where enough is ‘good enough’.   As Ron Ashkenas, argues, there becomes a certain point in our efforts, that adding more effort does not produce significantly more gains.

What then if ‘good enough’ is average.  Greg McKeown in “Today, just be average”, suggests that this is in fact a reasonable goal to counteract perfection.  He suggests that instead of being perfect try being ‘good enough’ or ‘average’ instead; “…try doing something really hard: try being average for one day.  What you might find might surprise you.”

Being perfect not only kills bravery, but is also killing us. There is a growing concern that the idea of perfectionism might be behind a recent rise in serious mental illness, including anxiety.  Recent research affirms a significant increase in perfectionism-especially socially prescribed perfectionism (excessively high social expectations) and the concern attached to this.  Curran and Hill in their article “Perfectionism is increasing, and that’s not good news” remind us of the following truths:   failure is not weakness, there are healthier goals than perfection-such as perseverance, flexibility and diligence, and done is better than perfect.  

I argue that a healthier goal than perfection is bravery.  My mantra last year, when I needed courage to push on ahead when I was feeling way out of my comfort zone was “pull up your big girl pants Angela”.  My favourite Scripture was-and still is “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 and also Deuteronomy 31:6) 

I know only too well that I am fighting against perfectionism, people pleasing, following the rules, being ‘nice’ and playing it safe. Being brave, being strong, being courageous for me is overcoming all these things and involves taking risks.  That is not always easy, when it involves me and my dreams.

I have put off too many dreams and plans, because of pursuing perfection.   While I do not advocate foolishness and impetuousness, over analysing has proven paralysing. If a farmer waited for the perfect season, would he ever sow a field? If he never sowed a field, how would he ever hope to reap a crop? 

If we want to make change in our lives, or if we want to grow, even have fun we have to risk appearing foolish and sometimes even fall on our face.  Unless we start somewhere, sometime, we will never find out what we can achieve or experience. 

Let us not allow perfection to kill our bravery this year. Be bold, be audacious, be fearless, have courage and be strong.  Cheers to a 2019 filled with bravery!