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Tag: goals

  • Rowing in Circles? Stop and Look up!

    Rowing in Circles? Stop and Look up!

    Once upon a time, there was a man who rowed a boat in circles, until he stopped from exhaustion.  When he looked up and realised what he had done, he wept.  If he had looked before then he may have been able to redirect his strokes, so he could have arrived on the shore at the end of the lake – the very place he set out for in the beginning. 

    This week, I visited my doctor to discuss my general health.  I felt like that man on the lake. I go to work to pay the bills to recover my health, that I sabotaged by working hard in the first place.  Just how do I correct and redirect my strokes, to ensure I don’t end up in that exhausting loop again?  That seems to be my eternal question.   

    They say in business, one should take some time out to work on your business, instead of in it.  Instead of head down laboring away non-stop, one should look up to check one’s bearings, plotting the course ahead; and, preventing going in circles. 

    The New Year is always a good time to plot one’s course.  I’m sure the man in the boat did that also.  The question is, how often should you check on those plans, to make sure you are heading in the right direction? 

    I liken my Sundays to my Sabbath rest; a time in the week to stop work and lift up my head. I like to use this time to fix my eyes on life’s race set before me; checking my bearings and resting up, before starting the course again on Monday. I say like, because that’s my desire but not always what I do.  Unfortunately, I sometimes see Sundays as another day I have available. A day to row a little harder, to push through the hard waters, and remove a few obstacles.  The problem is, if I do that too often, I forget the importance of rest and looking up; and find myself in that same pattern of a circle.

    Experts suggest a number of answers.  It starts with clear goals, made visible, and checked every day. Once a week is important as well.  It helps to keep your goals short and simple; and helps the process stay sweet.  Big picture goals are great.  While, too many details can add to your stress. Who wants to be burnt-out or exhausted, from trying to keep up with all those goals that you set?

    And then there’s grace. As a person of faith I breath in, then out, knowing that I may have many plans, but it’s the Lord’s counsel that will stand (Proverbs 16:21). Without His overall wisdom and will, I may never break out of rowing in circles, or stop setting goals that are impossible to meet.

    Keeping to the analogy, the man in the boat thought it was all up to him.  If only he acknowledged the keeper of that lake, and the currents and that wind that could have worked with him.  Old patterns are hard to break especially for those of us that are used to doing it our way – the hard way.  Working hard is good. Rowing hard – for a while, may help.  But what good is a journey if you stop half way exhausted, and all you do is spin in circles. With God’s help, that man – and I, are pausing mid-year (well it’s nearly mid-year), to reconsider the plan, and commit it to the lake’s keeper.  How’s your year going?  Are you on track, or spinning in circles? 

     Photo by Eugenia Romanova on Unsplash

  • The illusion of being in control

    The illusion of being in control

    If 2020 taught us anything, it is that being in control of our lives is an illusion.  There was little need for a planner last year; my grand plans came to naught.  What does that teach us as we go into 2021? 

    True, the challenges of 2020 are not yet behind us.  Covid-19 has not gone.  I am accepting the fact that international travel plans are unlikely to eventuate this year either.  And there are no guarantees that interstate travel in Australia will happen if recent border closures are an example.   So much of what I have taken for granted, as I have planned my life, has changed, and will stay changed for some time, with far reaching consequences.

    James in the Bible is clear that we do not even know what will happen tomorrow, let alone for the rest of the year.  He says it like this, ‘Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. He continues, ‘Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)

    At first, I thought, Aw James, but surely the listener set commendable and SMART goals. Afterall, they were specific about where they would go and what they would do. Their goals were measurable, attainable, realistic and time bound. 

    The real issue is not the goal setting per se- as James points out, but the fact that listener failed to acknowledge God and recognise that they were not actually in control of their future.   Now, whether you believe in God or not; many of us know deep down that we cannot control our future – let alone the future of others or the world around us.  And, if we are not in control, and we do not trust in a God who is, that surely only leaves us with chance.  I cannot believe that.

    These verses remind me that even our very lives are not guaranteed beyond each breath that we take. Our life is but a mist, a vapor.  Here one moment; gone the next.  A sobering thought, but nevertheless very real when I consider the lives of loved ones lost in recent years. 

    What does this precious life of mine look like then, when I start my plans and resolutions in 2021 with “If the Lord wills…”?

    I do not believe this means passivity or inaction.  This is more about attitude than actions. James qualifies in the next verse (16) that to not preface our plans with “if the Lord wills” is to be arrogant, boastful, and evil. Ouch!  These are tough words.  How easy it is to forget that we don’t get to govern how long we live or what we achieve with this life we have.  To think so is an illusion.

    It is not powerlessness either. It has nothing to do with giving up any responsibility I have for my life.  It is not permission to blame others or God.  It is an attitude of surrender that evokes humility and thankfulness.  It is humbling to acknowledge I do not get the last say in my todays and tomorrows.  And if this past year has taught me anything, it is that much I take for granted is not guaranteed. What I do have is worth being thankful for, including my very life.  

    I am usually very zealous with new year resolutions and plans. I believe because my goals have been SMART, I have had reasonable success in ticking them off as the year progresses.  I have noticed though, that goal fixation can be problematic for me, even when I include God.  As last year has shown me, it leads to disappointment when I fail to reach them. No matter how much I planned to be in France to walk some of the Camino de Santiago, I couldn’t travel!  The sheer force of striving can also be counterproductive, as my weight loss plans showed. I wanted to lose a chunk of weight because that is good for my health.  However, because of an underlying autoimmune disease, restricting calories and working out harder worked against my metabolism.  So, I failed in reaching my target.  But what if my target was not God’s will this year?  As a friend has pointed out, I gained strength and flexibility! And what about the amazing new friends I made- and reconnection with an old one, who shared the journey with me. That is a lot to be thankful for; even surprised about.

    This year-2021, I will still set goals and make plans but with less fixation. More.important is my resolution to preface them all with “If the Lord wills…”    By holding my goals lightly- and less tightly this year, I am looking forward to more serendipitous moments and being surprised by God!  This time next year, I plan not to ask how did I go with my goals? ; instead, I plan to ask, what was in fact God’s will in 2021?

    Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash

  • One habit at a time

    One habit at a time

    Tomorrow is the first day of a new year.  Many of us will make resolutions for 2018 that we have no chance of keeping.  Even when we set SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timebound) goals, the odds are that we will falter and fail. 

    What if we scrapped setting a bunch of goals and instead worked on changing one or two habits?  Jeff Goins reckons forget goal setting and instead start small with simple habits to get results.  Gradually, these habits will become a part of our daily practice; our daily routine.

    The general rule of thumb, is it takes 21 days to form a new habit or to change an old one. For some of us our habits are grooves so deep that it is a bit like changing the course of an ancient river by digging another channel by hand. These ones might take a little longer or call for more excavation or experimentation than most, before a new groove is formed.  Once that new habit is formed though, who knows what the flow on effect may be. 

    In his book “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change”, Charles Duhigg tells the story of Lisa, who by changing one habit transformed her life.  At aged thirty, she had been smoking and drinking for fourteen years, was overweight, in debt and the longest she had been in a job fell short of a year.  She decided to give up smoking and take up jogging. In four years, she lost sixty pounds, run a marathon, started a master’s degree and brought a home.  At aged thirty-four she was lean, fit, no outstanding debts, didn’t drink and was in her thirty-ninth month at her job.   By focusing on one pattern Lisa had taught herself to reprogram the other routines in her life, as well.  Old impulses were crowded out by new urges. 

    We all have habits. In fact, most of our daily lives are habitual, with routines. Try living in a new country or starting a new job and you may realise just how much the new routine or the loss of the familiar is unsettling.  What is the first thing you do in the morning, what music or radio station do you listen to when you hop in your car; at a coffee shop what is your usual order? At the end of a busy day, what groceries or takeaway do you usually pickup? Where does you mind go, when you daydream?  What is your usual phrase when you walk in the door at home each night?  These are but a few examples of what can and often starts of as a choice soon becomes an unconscious habit and even accidental. The question is, which ones are getting in the way of living an abundant life or fulfilling a dream?  What if by changing one of those habits in 2018, you or I could change the course of our lives for good? 

    Duhigg explains in how habits work that there is no one prescription or formula, although he does offer a framework- a place to start for changing habits.  It starts with identifying the routine that has become a habit. In his case, it was going to his workplace cafeteria at 3.30pm and eating a chocolate chip cookie. He looked into his habit and could not decide at first if it was about getting a sugar fix, boredom or a craving to socialize with co-workers there.  He then experimented with various new alternative habits that might reward his craving.  He resolved that walking over to a colleague’s desk and having a 10-minute chat would satisfy his craving, rather than the need to go to the cafeteria and eat an unnecessary cookie.  To ensure he changed his habit, he intentionally set his watch alarm for 3.30pm and would actively visit a colleague for a chat. After some time, he no longer was in the habit of visiting the cafeteria in the afternoon and would visit a colleague instead.  (I’m not sure what his colleague thought about his new habit though.)  I can only assume his health and weight was better for his habit change. 

    Here’s a thought. What if instead of focusing on a physical action as a new habit (although these are good), what about a change in mental or spiritual habit?  What if instead of focusing on the negative, the new habit was writing in a gratitude journal at the start or the finish of each day?  Instead of checking social media or emails first thin in the morning, what about checking in with God? 

    Here’s to a New Year filled with good things, starting with the small, tomorrow morn’. 

    “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book.  Write a good one.” Brad Paisley

      Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash