Tomorrow is the first day of a new year. Many of us will make resolutions for 2018 that we have no chance of keeping. Even when we set SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timebound) goals, the odds are that we will falter and fail.
What if we scrapped setting a bunch of goals and instead worked on changing one or two habits? Jeff Goins reckons forget goal setting and instead start small with simple habits to get results. Gradually, these habits will become a part of our daily practice; our daily routine.
The general rule of thumb, is it takes 21 days to form a new habit or to change an old one. For some of us our habits are grooves so deep that it is a bit like changing the course of an ancient river by digging another channel by hand. These ones might take a little longer or call for more excavation or experimentation than most, before a new groove is formed. Once that new habit is formed though, who knows what the flow on effect may be.
In his book “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change”, Charles Duhigg tells the story of Lisa, who by changing one habit transformed her life. At aged thirty, she had been smoking and drinking for fourteen years, was overweight, in debt and the longest she had been in a job fell short of a year. She decided to give up smoking and take up jogging. In four years, she lost sixty pounds, run a marathon, started a master’s degree and brought a home. At aged thirty-four she was lean, fit, no outstanding debts, didn’t drink and was in her thirty-ninth month at her job. By focusing on one pattern Lisa had taught herself to reprogram the other routines in her life, as well. Old impulses were crowded out by new urges.
We all have habits. In fact, most of our daily lives are habitual, with routines. Try living in a new country or starting a new job and you may realise just how much the new routine or the loss of the familiar is unsettling. What is the first thing you do in the morning, what music or radio station do you listen to when you hop in your car; at a coffee shop what is your usual order? At the end of a busy day, what groceries or takeaway do you usually pickup? Where does you mind go, when you daydream? What is your usual phrase when you walk in the door at home each night? These are but a few examples of what can and often starts of as a choice soon becomes an unconscious habit and even accidental. The question is, which ones are getting in the way of living an abundant life or fulfilling a dream? What if by changing one of those habits in 2018, you or I could change the course of our lives for good?
Duhigg explains in how habits work that there is no one prescription or formula, although he does offer a framework- a place to start for changing habits. It starts with identifying the routine that has become a habit. In his case, it was going to his workplace cafeteria at 3.30pm and eating a chocolate chip cookie. He looked into his habit and could not decide at first if it was about getting a sugar fix, boredom or a craving to socialize with co-workers there. He then experimented with various new alternative habits that might reward his craving. He resolved that walking over to a colleague’s desk and having a 10-minute chat would satisfy his craving, rather than the need to go to the cafeteria and eat an unnecessary cookie. To ensure he changed his habit, he intentionally set his watch alarm for 3.30pm and would actively visit a colleague for a chat. After some time, he no longer was in the habit of visiting the cafeteria in the afternoon and would visit a colleague instead. (I’m not sure what his colleague thought about his new habit though.) I can only assume his health and weight was better for his habit change.
Here’s a thought. What if instead of focusing on a physical action as a new habit (although these are good), what about a change in mental or spiritual habit? What if instead of focusing on the negative, the new habit was writing in a gratitude journal at the start or the finish of each day? Instead of checking social media or emails first thin in the morning, what about checking in with God?
Here’s to a New Year filled with good things, starting with the small, tomorrow morn’.
“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” Brad Paisley
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