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Tag: serendipity

  • The illusion of being in control

    The illusion of being in control

    If 2020 taught us anything, it is that being in control of our lives is an illusion.  There was little need for a planner last year; my grand plans came to naught.  What does that teach us as we go into 2021? 

    True, the challenges of 2020 are not yet behind us.  Covid-19 has not gone.  I am accepting the fact that international travel plans are unlikely to eventuate this year either.  And there are no guarantees that interstate travel in Australia will happen if recent border closures are an example.   So much of what I have taken for granted, as I have planned my life, has changed, and will stay changed for some time, with far reaching consequences.

    James in the Bible is clear that we do not even know what will happen tomorrow, let alone for the rest of the year.  He says it like this, ‘Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. He continues, ‘Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)

    At first, I thought, Aw James, but surely the listener set commendable and SMART goals. Afterall, they were specific about where they would go and what they would do. Their goals were measurable, attainable, realistic and time bound. 

    The real issue is not the goal setting per se- as James points out, but the fact that listener failed to acknowledge God and recognise that they were not actually in control of their future.   Now, whether you believe in God or not; many of us know deep down that we cannot control our future – let alone the future of others or the world around us.  And, if we are not in control, and we do not trust in a God who is, that surely only leaves us with chance.  I cannot believe that.

    These verses remind me that even our very lives are not guaranteed beyond each breath that we take. Our life is but a mist, a vapor.  Here one moment; gone the next.  A sobering thought, but nevertheless very real when I consider the lives of loved ones lost in recent years. 

    What does this precious life of mine look like then, when I start my plans and resolutions in 2021 with “If the Lord wills…”?

    I do not believe this means passivity or inaction.  This is more about attitude than actions. James qualifies in the next verse (16) that to not preface our plans with “if the Lord wills” is to be arrogant, boastful, and evil. Ouch!  These are tough words.  How easy it is to forget that we don’t get to govern how long we live or what we achieve with this life we have.  To think so is an illusion.

    It is not powerlessness either. It has nothing to do with giving up any responsibility I have for my life.  It is not permission to blame others or God.  It is an attitude of surrender that evokes humility and thankfulness.  It is humbling to acknowledge I do not get the last say in my todays and tomorrows.  And if this past year has taught me anything, it is that much I take for granted is not guaranteed. What I do have is worth being thankful for, including my very life.  

    I am usually very zealous with new year resolutions and plans. I believe because my goals have been SMART, I have had reasonable success in ticking them off as the year progresses.  I have noticed though, that goal fixation can be problematic for me, even when I include God.  As last year has shown me, it leads to disappointment when I fail to reach them. No matter how much I planned to be in France to walk some of the Camino de Santiago, I couldn’t travel!  The sheer force of striving can also be counterproductive, as my weight loss plans showed. I wanted to lose a chunk of weight because that is good for my health.  However, because of an underlying autoimmune disease, restricting calories and working out harder worked against my metabolism.  So, I failed in reaching my target.  But what if my target was not God’s will this year?  As a friend has pointed out, I gained strength and flexibility! And what about the amazing new friends I made- and reconnection with an old one, who shared the journey with me. That is a lot to be thankful for; even surprised about.

    This year-2021, I will still set goals and make plans but with less fixation. More.important is my resolution to preface them all with “If the Lord wills…”    By holding my goals lightly- and less tightly this year, I am looking forward to more serendipitous moments and being surprised by God!  This time next year, I plan not to ask how did I go with my goals? ; instead, I plan to ask, what was in fact God’s will in 2021?

    Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash

  • What happens when we use light hands?

    What happens when we use light hands?

    Do you hold on with light or tight hands?  Sometimes I think I hold on too tightly to my opinions, my plans, my relationships, my possessions and even life itself.  Sometimes I do not hold on at all. What if we are meant to hold on with light hands? 

    We have two puppies at my workplace that are always being picked up and cuddled, whether they like it or not.  Some people hold on with very tight hands and the puppies can barely wriggle.  Others hold on with light hands.  The puppies never seem to complain but they do hide.  I have noticed that they are more likely to respond to and even come out of hiding for those with the light hands. 

    When we use light hands, we allow space for reciprocity, serendipity, creativity, growth and for grace.  Tight hands are confining and closed and rarely allow any space for movement.  We miss out when we hold on with tight hands. 

    I am a planner and an organiser.  I have noticed over time that when I plan and organise with lighter hands the more room there is for something far greater to develop than I could have ever imagined or designed.  At times it feels and even looks a little chaotic and messy, but it also has the potential for something beautiful to grow.  When I plan with tight hands I squeeze out the opportunity for others to bloom and for the Divine to work in this space. 

    I feel the pressure in work and in life to plan with measurable, quantitative outcomes and as a result feel compelled to work with tight hands to execute these plans. Tight hands are limiting hands and belong to a world of ‘cannots’.  I would need to let go of being right, of getting it right, expecting others to get it right and of making it ‘stack up’.  What if instead, I was to work with light hands to provide a space for others to grow and God’s grace to manifest.  I could focus on possibilities and relationships, foster collaboration and imagination and be delightfully surprised with the result-or not.  Light hands are hands of possibilities and a world of ‘cans’.  As Martin and Golsby-Smith said in their article “Management is much more than science”,  “In the can world, the relevant data doesn’t exist because the future hasn’t happened yet.”

    This week, will you be brave enough to hold life and your plans with light hands and see what develops? 

  • The benefits of being inefficient

    The benefits of being inefficient

    A little while ago I started wearing a fitness tracker. To my dismay I discovered I hardly moved all day. No surprises really, as most of my work is done at the desk and on a computer.   I set myself up so well that I had everything within my seated reach.  I am the sort of person that would feel guilty walking from my desk to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle without also taking out the rubbish and collecting up any dishes on the way.  I had also begun to purchase my groceries online so I could achieve more at my desk. Someone else ran the aisles for my groceries, packed them in their truck and delivered them to my front door.  I had efficiently and effectively made myself sedentary.

    There has been lots of chatter recently about sitting being the new smoking.  Under advice, I purchased my first standing desk so I can now alternate between standing and sitting. (I could not afford the treadmill desk.)  While this has health benefits it did not really address my inactive lifestyle. If I was going to add more steps to my days routine, I realised I had to give myself permission to become inefficient.

    Along the way I have discovered the surprising benefits of becoming inefficient.  Previously the visitor at my door was an interruption to my workflow. Gulping coffee and snacking at my desk was preferred to taking a break. Now I delight in chance meetings. My digestion is better for eating slowly. My new attitude to life has opened the door to new adventures.   Hyper-efficiency I discovered is the antithesis to spontaneity and serendipity.  It is also bad for my health.

    I am also enjoying kicking the addiction of multi-tasking. Just because I can does not mean I have to.  This type of juggling is not much fun and is stressful.  If this is inefficiency then it has provided a surprising tradeoff. Instead of being breathlessly busy and constantly planning I am enjoying the new singular focus and rediscovered what it means to be present in the moment. 

    I do not think I will ever become totally inefficient and nor am I advocating laziness and disorganisation.  However, in a world that prides itself in fitting more into the day’s schedule I say “At what cost?”  There are benefits to inefficiency.  It took my fitness tracker to remind me of that.