I collapsed in my chair at the end of last week, shattered physically, mentally, and emotionally. In a week marked by efficiency, busyness and speed borne out of necessity to deliver outcomes, I should have been delighted in all I had achieved. Instead I felt overwhelmed in the wake of my intense week and dismayed about the impact my overwhelm might have had on others.
It does not matter what I did or where I did it, because this has happened before. It does not really matter why either. What matters is what lesson I am slow to learn.
A good friend, who prays for me and especially prayed for me this week passed on a message of encouragement with a Scripture to read. She attached a P.S. suggesting that the picture of the snail that accompanied the verse, might in fact be just as important a message as the words. A snail I thought? And then, I agreed.
I have been slapping my forehead the past few weeks, dismayed by my frustrations and exclaiming “Am I stupid? or Is there a lesson I have not learned?” There is a lesson in this, I realised. I need to go slower! I suspect, in my case, this is not actually slow, but it will certainly feel slow for someone who multi tasks and has spent decades developing her efficiencies.
This is not a new thought. For a long time, I have had a curiosity about the slow living and the slow food movement. My weekends are spent pottering in my garden and in my kitchen; or hanging out with friends over a cuppa. Why can’t I get this rhythm at work? Is it even possible?
I know why I cram so much into my workdays. I do not think my motives are wrong, but the consequences are dangerous. Certainly, dangerous to my health, both physical and mental. My body, already struggling with hormonal imbalances, does not need another squirt of stress hormone in the mix. It is true if you run fast you risk stumbling. I felt that this week.
Did you know there is a ‘slow work’ movement too? It focuses on mindfulness, creativity, and balanced work environment. Paul Gentile in “How to make the slow movement work for you”, emphasizes using your time for more meaningful and productive ways, by taking controlled breaks and focus on individual tasks. For me that means no more multitasking and eating on the run.
Morgaine Gerlach suggests in addition, doubling the time estimate for the ‘to-do list’ items on your daily schedule, adding relaxation periods to each day and being patient with the process.
I know in my heart that slowing down allows me to go deeper and be present. This is especially important for relationships not only with others, but with oneself and one’s God. Just like the snail, going slower may mean I get to see the benefit and the beauty of every inch!
Under duress, it all seems so hard and yet I know it is so important. I rather like this Chinese Proverb and may have to post it on a note on my desk. “Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.”
And this one by Shakespeare “Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast.”
I will be sure to add a picture of a snail too.
P.S. Feel free to check in with me in a week’s time or a month’s time and ask me how I am managing ‘slow’.
Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash
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