Do you ever get tired of change? I do. I have always thought of myself as a person open to growth, and a proactive person; but I am growing weary. I worked for an organisation which navigated its way through an enforced change process, followed by another organisation, that grew so rapidly, that change was inevitable. My bookshelves testify to an adult lifetime of personal development, which I equate with having an openness to change. I have also sought counselling and professional supervision to help me grow emotionally and personally. In spite of these many decades of experience with change and a determination to have a positive attitude to it, I have felt that there are no assurances that I will always handle change well.
To start with, I am not sure my brain has been the best one wired for change. Those of us that are wired for routine, struggle with change more than others who aren’t. This is quite an irony, because if you want to make a positive change, you best build new habits, which usually involves routine. Apparently, some of us get stuck in this routine and need a bit of a nudge to accept change; whether externally or internally required. As Tami Forman says, routines are great because they reduce decision fatigue, keep you disciplined and generally make your life easier. Unfortunately, when change is required, these routines can hold us back.
In her article called ‘The Psychology of Change’, Eva Ryker suggests that our attitude and the attitude of others (yes, peer pressure) plays a big role in our ability to change. The biggest contributor is our intention to change. This is known as a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset, and supports behavioral change.
Unfortunately, as we get older, we have a tendency to become more fixed in our thoughts and our ways. It is not just teenagers who are sensitive to the opinions of others. Change, especially personal development and growth, takes even more courage as we get older. Not only are we often in routine ruts, but we can risk losing friendships and the acceptance of some others, when we become someone different. Perhaps, we have more to lose? Jeffrey Bonkiewicz says it all in his article’s title: ‘It takes courage to change: Taking on new behaviours can be unpopular.’
For all of my years of openness to personal growth, I have started to wonder if it is actually a perfection trap? God knows, this side of heaven, I will never be perfect. So why even bother? Is it even necessary to change, I ask? I even began to wonder if the personal development industry isn’t a scam. Wisdom has prevailed though. Growth and change are inevitable, I read, including my own personal decision and willingness to change. Personal growth, and therefore change, is a lifetime process rather than a bucket list item.
Change requires courage, especially in the face of pain and grief. I guess we would all embrace change if we knew there was no suffering involved. ‘Courage’, Brene Brown says, ‘is a heart word’; ‘it equals vulnerability.’ In fact, vulnerability, she says, is the birthplace of change- and innovation and creativity.
As a Christian, I believe that I serve a God that encourages change, and one who admires courage. While the process of change is not promised to be pain free, we are promised that we will not be alone in the journey. God will be with us. The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Roman church, says that our transformation occurs by the renewal of our minds. Thoughts and beliefs clearly impact our behaviours. This change that Paul talks about is not for the sake of change itself, or for some personal self-actualization. This transformation process is for the greater purpose of living a life for God’s purposes.
Fixed mindsets and fixed ways are clearly not the way forward. An attitude of openness, of vulnerability, and of the heart, is what we need to be able to navigate the seas of change. I am sure humility and teachability should also be on this list. I am convinced that my growth, especially in character and behaviours, has, and will continue to occur, not because of my successes, but rather through the setbacks and challenges. And whenever I find myself growing weary, I may need to reacquaint myself with God and God’s vision and purpose for my life. By fixing my eyes on His greater purpose for my life, in Christ Jesus, I will find the grace and the endurance to continue to run this race called life.
As John Assaraf says ‘anyone can stay the same. It takes courage to change.’
Don’t give up!
Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash
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